Monday, June 30, 2014

Say What?!?

It's interesting the reactions you get from people sometimes when you discuss things related to pregnancy….especially when you're pregnant and have some sort of medical condition. We didn't tell many people about the fact that I was even pregnant to begin with, but of course, the longer you're pregnant, I've found that it becomes increasingly more difficult to hide it or not to talk about it - especially when you have to be out of work and on bed rest and keep going back to the hospital and doctor's office. I've encountered the following annoying/stupid reactions from people when they hear about my story:

1. looking at me like I'm crazy
2. some sort of reaction implying I'm overreacting
3. ignorant questions/comments (please think before you speak, people!!)
4. rude comments/questions (refer to parentheses above)
5. telling me a story about their brother's/mother's/cousin's/great aunt/friend/neighbor in Timbuktu who had the EXACT same thing…which would actually get me kind of excited to hear that someone actually knew another person who had had the exact same condition and symptoms and could possibly relate to what I was going through/feeling…Only to find out that it was NOT the same thing at all and that what that person had experienced was NOT at all what I have been experiencing.
6. ridiculous pieces of advice
7. people blatantly not even listening to me and instead talking over me and telling me things that could never apply to me because my situation is different than their own experiences or of those that they know who have been pregnant; in addition to saying stupid things like, "Yeah, I can relate. When I was pregnant, I was SO tired all the time. You know, you really need to make sure you're exercising and drinking a lot of water. That really helps." I've quickly learned to dismiss this, while thinking things like: "No, dumbass! My doctor said I'm not supposed to exercise, or do anything strenuous. Didn't you listen to me?!? And drinking a lot of water is a no brainer part of pregnancy that in no way is going to help a subchorionic hematoma go away! W-T-F is wrong with you?!? You self-absorbed, ignorant fool who doesn't listen when others speak!!"

Anyway, I may be a little critical of the ridiculousness that comes out of people's mouths/their reactions, but I feel it's warranted. I've always been the kind of person to try to listen to someone's story and be sympathetic of their situation, so it drives me beyond crazy when others display the opposite of that toward me…or in general, really. My grandma used to say something to the affect of "until you've walked a day in someone else's shoes, you have no idea what they're going through." That has forever resonated with me because it is so true. Sure, we can all be judgmental at times, but for the most part, I always try to hear someone out and  be understanding of what they're going through. This is especially true when someone is going through something medically - or if they're pregnant. It's like my friend Kara said, "You never judge a pregnant woman's situation. Everyone is different and every story is different." (*Not verbatim, but close enough to what she said in order to get the point across.) She's a smart lady who said exactly what I think!

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