Monday, June 30, 2014

You Are Not In Control…

The bleeding incident occurred in March. I continued to bleed heavily for two more weeks and then the bleeding subsided to that of a very light period. I never fully stopped bleeding, however. We had seen the doctor a couple more times between March and April. Every time I was asked about the bleeding and I confirmed that indeed, I was still bleeding and I continued to ask questions as to why this was happening. I was never given any answer. I was literally told, "We don't know why this is happening." Talk about scary!!

Then, the Friday before I was getting ready to start spring break for Easter, I was at work and started having really sharp pains and cramping. I was told that if I had any of these symptoms to get to the doctor ASAP. I was able to get ahold of my doctor and she said she'd fit me in around 3:30, so I left work and headed straight to Davis again. I met Dustin there. We had another ultrasound, were able to see our baby, and were told that the bleeding could cause some swelling in the abdomen and could cause pain and tenderness, so that was probably what I was feeling. Then she sent us on our way. Still, no real answers as to why all of this was happening. I was starting to feel pretty frustrated. The only advice I was given was to try to stay off my feet as much as possible, not to do anything strenuous, and to rest.

Luckily I had a week off from work, so I took the doctor's orders and laid low in my house for the week. I was pleased that resting seemed to be working. The bleeding had nearly stopped. I was at the end of my first trimester. I was feeling somewhat normal.

We went to my mom's house in Cottonwood to spend Easter weekend. The day before Easter, Dustin and I decided to take a drive through Red Bluff to go visit my cousin Andrea to see her new house and then on to visit my Uncle Billy and Aunt Linda. We actually ended up going to visit Billy and Linda first and were there for close to an hour when we were outside sitting on the back porch and I felt a sudden urge to go to the bathroom…like really bad. Abruptly in mid conversation, I stood up and said, "I need to go pee." They laughed, probably thinking, "typical pregnant lady."

There was nothing typical about this, however. As I walked, I started to feel something familiar. I got to the bathroom and before I could even sit down, blood started to get everywhere. This time I believe was worse than the first incident at work. There was blood on the toilet, on the floor, on my hands, all over my clothes. It was intense. I tried to clean up as best I could and rushed back out to my husband and my aunt and uncle and in a panicked state, announced, "I'm bleeding again." Then I turned and headed back to the bathroom. Dustin and my aunt came in the bathroom. The first thing I recall my aunt saying was, "Oh my gosh, that's a lot of blood!" She helped me clean up and get my things together as Dustin was immediately on the phone to my doctor who told us to drive straight to the hospital in Davis.

Dustin called to let my parents know what was going on and that we wouldn't be seeing them any time soon as we needed to head out. I was lying on the couch with my feet propped up, still bleeding, as my aunt and uncle sat with me and prayed over me and the baby. I was shaking profusely and was really a hot mess!

Needless to say, we spent the wee hours of Easter Sunday in the hospital. I think we finally got home that day close to 3:00 a.m. They did a bunch of lab work and a regular ultrasound along with a doppler sonogram. We left with no answers. All we got from our doctor who was very kind and had the same last name as us was, "These things sometimes happen. You just have to realize that you're not in control and whatever is meant to be is going to happen."

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